And yet, "Biblical Graffiti"'s average rating on Amazon is 5 stars. What do you say to that, Mr. smarty-boots?
Okay, so a lot of the five-star reviewers seem to be under the impression that ApologetiX invented the concept of changing a song's lyrics, and deserve credit for being so clever. And a lot of them smack of the defensive exuberance you mention above.
But still, an Amazon rating is like a poll. And Internet polls never lie, right?
David_E
· 3 months ago
Slagging on CCM is like bobbing for water.
jefito
· 3 months ago
That would explain why I feel like I'm drowning.
DwDunphy
· 3 months ago
In this specific case, I'm pretty shocked by the inherent hypocrisy. In order for ApologetiX to parody these songs, they would have to know them first, and that means they would have to listen to them - but you can't. See, it would be best for them to eat your food first, just to make sure it's not unhealthy for you.
This brings to mind an article I read once. A CCM (technically, but hardly comparable) artist wrote a piece about how he felt about Pink Floyd's The Wall, several Beatles albums, Elvis Presley's Sun Records recordings and, essentially, he said, "Art is subjective or else it isn't art. The moment you force your viewpoint through without allowing the listener a chance to mix that in with their own viewpoints, it ceases to be art and becomes propaganda." He then went on to say that The Wall is as important a recording to a believer as it is to a non-believer because it is at its heart about shutting down your empathy for others.
Said artist who wrote this was roundly shouted down by the Christian press for insinuating that the secular music industry had anything of value to add to any conversation.
mc3
· 3 months ago
If I correctly remember how this works, a retaliatory Earmageddon strike is due in the direction of Mr. Hare, isn't it? Can't wait.
jefito
· 3 months ago
He is SO due for a retaliatory strike. Suggestions welcome.
Jamielyon
· 3 months ago
Pat Metheny's "Zero Tolerance for Silence" would make a nice choice. I love me some Pat, but that's just brutal listening.
jefito
· 3 months ago
He's already braved the terror of "Metal Machine Music." I think he'd just shrug that off.
jasonhare
· 3 months ago
What was that disc you sent me a few years ago that I called bullshit on? The Neil Young one?
jefito
· 3 months ago
I don't remember. But you've been sitting on the Milli Vanilli remix album for years.
That band is a paint by numbers, auto-toned, cash-in attempt no more musically intriguing than Jonas Brothers or the latest pop tart. Bad but not soul-searingly horrible.
jasonhare
· 3 months ago
Bring your worst. I have another one in reserve.
EightE1
· 3 months ago
I have a couple Jandek discs I could send you.
jasonhare
· 3 months ago
And by the way, JEFF, you should be finding the bad stuff on your own. That's the honorable thing to do.
jefito
· 3 months ago
What about Earmageddon is the least bit honorable?
You still need to hear "JC's Mom Has Got A Growing Son."
jefito
· 3 months ago
NO I DON'T.
zandria1
· 3 months ago
“Smart Blest Man.” come on? That is not really one of the songs is it?
Not that this would have ever come across my lap for any reason but I am certainly pleased to know that I should avoid it at all cost. I like to give credit for being clever but from the sound of it clever was not on the menu for them.
jamesballenger
· 3 months ago
....to help Smith cure the horrible epidemic of children being born into non-Christian homes (swear to God)....There is so much funny in that statement. And if you ever need a background singer for your band, I'll be more than happy to oblige.
DavidMedsker
· 3 months ago
Hey, what about that Too $hort album from last year, the one with "F.U.C.K.Y.O.U."?
This was an admittedly easy target, but that makes them no less deserving of scorn.
jefito
· 3 months ago
It can't merely be deserving of scorn -- listening to it needs to be painful. Preferably physically so.
jasonhare
· 3 months ago
See, we blew our proverbial wad early. Nothing is ever going to be more physically painful than "Metal Machine Music."
Russ
· 3 months ago
Sat through this "wholesome" entertainment the other night with the gf and her daughter. The gf was happy at first to have some wholesome entertainment for a 9-year old, and she rarely has a disparaging word about anyone. But even she couldn't take "entertainment" by a "not-for-profit 501(c)(3) charitable organization" beyond 10 minutes.
Rats. Because I have a beautifully packaged lump of scorn to send you, in the form of Oksana Grigorieva's debut vanity project.
jim
· 3 months ago
while not a christian since the age of 13 although not a total heathen either, i have a tolerance for well balanced bands who do the odd religious based song(XTC= dear god, slobberbone=trust jesus) and matthew sweet. most christians i went to school with were major hypocrites.
DwDunphy
· 3 months ago
As the official God Boy of Popdose - uh - yeah, this really, really sucks. Resume your flaying.
DavidMedsker
· 3 months ago
You're not the only God Boy on Popdose. I just cannot relate to this form of Christianity, not one bit. It seems so antiquated to me, like some old '80s cliche from the Falwell years. If these guys came to my church, I'd leave. Fortunately, my church is way too cool to book an act like that.
wayoutjunk
· 3 months ago
I may be opening myself up for major shunning, but I actually like Apologetix (and not in an ironic, "so bad it's good" way). I have all their albums and even went to one of their concerts. Not all the songs are supposed to be funny; some are trying to teach a lesson. The musicians are good, and the lyrics are often so close to the original words that it takes a minute to realize you're not listening to the original song.
Why do I feel like Linus in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" after admitting that? ;-)
Tony
jefito
· 3 months ago
It takes diff'rent strokes to move the world, Tony. I won't hold it against you. How do you feel about Wing?
wayoutjunk
· 3 months ago
I'm more of a breast man myself....
Oh, you meant the SINGER! I hadn't heard of her, so I checked out some of her stuff on the YouTube. It looks like they let somebody's Asian mom sing karaoke. I don't really see the appeal, although she does a better job on "Dancing Queen" than the A Teens do.
And the funny thing about Apologetix for me is that I really enjoy them more for the parody aspect. Although I am a Christian, this is the only Christian band I listen to. I find singing the classics in church among people of various voice qualities more fulfilling I guess.
Karl Messner
· 2 months ago
Hi, Someone forwarded me your link and I gotta say, "Earmageddon" is a great name, and you're a very, very witty writer.
My name is Karl and I actually co-founded ApologetiX with J. Jackson in 1992. and I played lead guitar and produced all the CDs. We never really meant to be a "real band" and were really kind of caught off guard when people wanted us to play for them.
I've certainly met some of the Christians you describe and have vowed not to ever be "that way" with anyone. And we did kick around the idea of making secular parodies of Christian bands (as a joke, no more serious about it than you.) J even used to tease that he was going to do a parody of "She blinded me with science" and call it "She blinded me with pliers" Ok, not too seriously there either.
Ok, I think you gave Biblical Graffiti a more fair shake than *I* do 11 years after I produced it. In all fairness, the LAST CD I produced with them, Wordplay actually SOUNDS pretty decent. Lots of people like the lyric content, but no, it's not always FUNNY parodies.
I've since left the band and do my own (original) music now but they plod on and have put out a couple CDs with a new producer and guitarists and still tour regularly. The show is a great time and the guys are genuinely good folks :)
I hope MY music never makes it to Earmageddon, but if you like leave me a note at http://www.KarlMessnerMusic.com and I'll send you my CD, Liberty, when it comes out and brace for your response :)
Anyway, appreciate your wit, and wanted to encourage you in your writing. You're very talented.
jefito
· 2 months ago
You're on, Karl -- if your new music is half as good as your sense of humor, I'm sure I'll love it. Drop me a line at jefito @ popdose.com when you're ready for press.
All Comments
Okay, so a lot of the five-star reviewers seem to be under the impression that ApologetiX invented the concept of changing a song's lyrics, and deserve credit for being so clever. And a lot of them smack of the defensive exuberance you mention above.
But still, an Amazon rating is like a poll. And Internet polls never lie, right?
This brings to mind an article I read once. A CCM (technically, but hardly comparable) artist wrote a piece about how he felt about Pink Floyd's The Wall, several Beatles albums, Elvis Presley's Sun Records recordings and, essentially, he said, "Art is subjective or else it isn't art. The moment you force your viewpoint through without allowing the listener a chance to mix that in with their own viewpoints, it ceases to be art and becomes propaganda." He then went on to say that The Wall is as important a recording to a believer as it is to a non-believer because it is at its heart about shutting down your empathy for others.
Said artist who wrote this was roundly shouted down by the Christian press for insinuating that the secular music industry had anything of value to add to any conversation.
http://www.girlauthority.com/?id=cds_dvds.php
My kids have this and I can vouch for how horrible it is...
Not that this would have ever come across my lap for any reason but I am certainly pleased to know that I should avoid it at all cost. I like to give credit for being clever but from the sound of it clever was not on the menu for them.
This was an admittedly easy target, but that makes them no less deserving of scorn.
http://thehappinessclub-bookus.com/
Why do I feel like Linus in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" after admitting that? ;-)
Tony
Oh, you meant the SINGER! I hadn't heard of her, so I checked out some of her stuff on the YouTube. It looks like they let somebody's Asian mom sing karaoke. I don't really see the appeal, although she does a better job on "Dancing Queen" than the A Teens do.
And the funny thing about Apologetix for me is that I really enjoy them more for the parody aspect. Although I am a Christian, this is the only Christian band I listen to. I find singing the classics in church among people of various voice qualities more fulfilling I guess.
My name is Karl and I actually co-founded ApologetiX with J. Jackson in 1992. and I played lead guitar and produced all the CDs. We never really meant to be a "real band" and were really kind of caught off guard when people wanted us to play for them.
I've certainly met some of the Christians you describe and have vowed not to ever be "that way" with anyone. And we did kick around the idea of making secular parodies of Christian bands (as a joke, no more serious about it than you.) J even used to tease that he was going to do a parody of "She blinded me with science" and call it "She blinded me with pliers" Ok, not too seriously there either.
Ok, I think you gave Biblical Graffiti a more fair shake than *I* do 11 years after I produced it. In all fairness, the LAST CD I produced with them, Wordplay actually SOUNDS pretty decent. Lots of people like the lyric content, but no, it's not always FUNNY parodies.
I've since left the band and do my own (original) music now but they plod on and have put out a couple CDs with a new producer and guitarists and still tour regularly. The show is a great time and the guys are genuinely good folks :)
I hope MY music never makes it to Earmageddon, but if you like leave me a note at http://www.KarlMessnerMusic.com and I'll send you my CD, Liberty, when it comes out and brace for your response :)
Anyway, appreciate your wit, and wanted to encourage you in your writing. You're very talented.