Popdose - Latest Comments in Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Aishah Bowron — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 06:42:37 -0000

The Worst Decade
By : Aishah Bowron

The worst musical era of all times were the Eighties. I disliked that decade. The only good bands and artists that I liked from the Eighties are Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Europe, Guns N’Roses, Michael Jackson and Prince and that’s about it.

All the best rock bands came out of the Seventies. The Seventies were better than the Eighties in my opinion, producing proper rock bands like Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, Bad Company, Trapeze, Free, AC/DC, Judas Priest, Thin Lizzy, Whitesnake, Motorhead etc. The Eighties were about synthesizers and poppy little sounds. Synthesizers were boring instruments because you couldn’t jump around with it like you would do with a guitar. Even worse there were all these horrible bands like the Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Depeche Mode, OMD, Kajagoogoo and many similar acts in the Eighties. Then you got the Stock Aitken and Waterman nonsense, which drove me bleeding mad. They were responsible for producing cheeseball hits like Never Gonna Give You Up and I Should Be So Lucky..

The musical scene in the Eighties was a joke. You had record companies and managers who were more important than the artists. These managers acted like dictators telling you what to do like polishing your music and looking a bit. You had to live by the strict Draconian rules forever doing TV shows , playback performances and photo sessions. It was too nice and too tame. You had no control over your music because you had to play the way the manager wanted you to sound. The Eighties were backlashed against the guitar because the producer toned it down to make room for the synths. That is amongst the reason why I think the Eighties were awful. The Eighties is a decade not worth remembering.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

JonCummings — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 01:23:13 -0000

I hear you, but ... despite the horror of Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie writing about "saving their own lives" ... and despite the unwanted, hopefully not-to-be-repeated sight of Huey Lewis and Cyndi Lauper singing a duet ... "WATW" failed to make the cut simply because of the story about how Stevie Wonder had to teach Bob Dylan how to sing "like Bob Dylan" on his own chorus.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:32:15 -0000

You clearly forgot about the existence of "We are the World", which was bad on a level rarely achieved by anyone.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Sara — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:25:35 -0000

Again this is just your opinion. Kyrie is from an old Latin chant "Kyrie Eleison"
It also appears in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame (the chant not the song) Wind Beneath My Wings not bad, but Bette Midler was not everyone's favorite singer. Although she is credited for starting the careers of Barry Manilow and Melissa Manchester so let's thank her for that!
The worst Kenny Loggins song of the 1980s.. Hard to think. It wasn't a #1
hit his cover of "Tell Her (Him)

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Sara — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:16:48 -0000

The Greatest Love of All is not a terrible song. Most people just remember the first line (I believe that children are our future) George Benson wasn't even a great singer but a cool guitarist! As for Kyrie it was based on an old Latin hymn you can hear the same words in the prologue of Disney's Notre Dame movie.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

rachie — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:03:57 -0000

Okay. The article had me laughing out loud. THIS reply nearly made me pee myself. WICKED AWESOME WORK. (my reply was supposed to go here)

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Alex5000 — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:47:39 -0000

I still like "The Works" -- and I still like "Radio Ga Ga." There's a charm to that song that, for me anyway, has weathered the years well. Damn good album, too. It's no "Queen II" or "Sheer Heart Attack," but it is redeemed by the fact that it ALSO isn't "Hot Space" or "The Miracle..."

Regarding "We Built This CIty" -- I cut this song some slack mainly because whenever I hear it, I get immediate and fond memories of being thirteen years old. However, having since then discovered "After Bathing At Baxter's" and "Blows Against The Empire" I can understand why one cannot be allowed to rate it a good song...

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

rachie — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 00:38:33 -0000

Okay. The article had me laughing out loud. THIS reply nearly made me pee myself. WICKED AWESOME WORK.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Pete — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:26:49 -0000

Nevermind-I just got you were saying that. Lol.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Pete — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:26:08 -0000

Ray ripped of Huey-you have that backwards.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Bobslim — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:58:10 -0000

I agree with the choice of Olivia. She wasn't so bas in Grease, but ity's different in Physical.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

jefito — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:25:19 -0000

Yes, actually. That was the last decade when "Seymour Butts" was funny.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Seymor Butt — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:40:49 -0000

Do you have anything positive to say about the 80's.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

peterlee43 — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 08:54:36 -0000

Perfect list! The only thing missing is a Rick Astley song, but his coolness factor is way up right now. Come to think of it, judging from your honorable mention list at the beginning, you could have easily done a Top 30...

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Pico — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:33:26 -0000

OK...you're right about Broken Wings being a song-long intro...but that's hardly a capital offense.

Kyrie: I don't remember the video. "Hate the video, not the song" ;&)

(I don't exactly know wtf "Stairway to Heaven" is about but everyone seems to like it /shrug)

BTW, I can't disagree with any of the rest of your list. Nice job, overall.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

JonCummings — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:14:11 -0000

No no no no no no no no no no no no no. "Broken Wings" is an intro waiting for a song that never arrives, with utterly banal lyrics. "Kyrie" -- I don't know where to start, but when the singer STARTS OUT with his hands raised in the air, in roughly the same position where Barry Manilow's arms always wind up when he sings the big CLOSING note, I know it's time to see what's happening over on Fuse.

If you can explain what "Kyrie" is about, I might change my mind. Good luck.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

JonCummings — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 00:05:30 -0000

Actually, when I look over the grand sweep of the '80s I find a hell of a lot more than songs that were "fun, nothing more, nothing less." I certainly wouldn't qualify "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" as "nothing more" than fun. I think it's one of the most profound songs in rock history, and it (unbelievably) made it to #1--as did glorious songs from "Billie Jean" to "When Doves Cry" to "Shout" to "Sledgehammer" to "Sweet Child O' Mine" to flippin' "Like a Prayer." And let's not even start in on the vast universe of '80s music that was incredibly fascinating and/or moving (or at least seemed so at the time) yet never came within a sniff of #1, or of the charts at all...

Chances are you don't find at least one of those songs profound, and you might think they all suck. It's all a matter of taste, isn't it?

Besides, we kid with love! (Well, maybe not love...)

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Pico — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 22:10:42 -0000

Late to the party, as usual.

Dude....Mr. Mister?! That's unduly harsh. Admit it, it's the Sonar drums and Yamaha DX-7's that annoys you, not the songs. Seperate out the icy cold production, them there are some solid tunes, brah.. Shit, Page went on to make a tidy sum writing songs for others.

Hate the instruments, not the playahs. ;&)

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

jefito — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:48:40 -0000

Take your own advice.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Christopher — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:10:47 -0000

Give me a break. Music from the 80's was fun, nothing more, nothing less. Yes there were bad lyrics and cheesy hooks, but lighten up.

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

JonCummings — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:25:48 -0000

Not to mention the Huey Lewis ripoff...from when Huey was still writing decent hit songs...

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

theroux — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:00:11 -0000

"Ghostbusters" made me want to dig my eyes out with a spork.
"Who you gonna call?"....lyrical genius!

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

Don — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:01:51 -0000

This is an absolutely stellar list and I'm most impressed with your ability to actually narrow it down to ten even in the face of pressure from your wife and MIL. I have a good mind to buy these tracks from itunes, though. I must be a masochist. I co-wrote a piece on the ultimate mix 'tape' for spunkybean.com in case anyone wants to enjoy any further nostalgia ...
http://spunkybean.com/index.php?option=com_cont...

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

JonCummings — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 23:02:32 -0000

That would be a bridge too far. I just remember the "singing" shown during their press conference:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaoBgR7wLQk

Re: Jesus of Cool: The Worst Number One Songs of the ’80s

steed — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:26:10 -0000

I definitely own Milli Vanilli. Heck, I even own the Girl You Know It's True remix album. I almost owned "The Real Milli Vanilli" album too - but even I had to stop somewhere!