DISQUS

Popdose: The Eleventh Day of Mellowmas: A New Jack Mellowmas | Popdose

  • mojo · 1 year ago
    Wow.

    I need to disinfect my monitor after this Millie Jackson stuff and revisiting the Keith Sweat Incident.

    WTF, by the way, is Jeff's issue with crocodile slippers? They're so fine.
  • Beau · 1 year ago
    Fats' song sounds like it was played on a Casio keyboard. This one sounds like it was played on a Casio wristwatch.
  • DwDunphy · 1 year ago
    Oh, Freddie Jackson. Don't worry about Christmas slipping away. If it really loves you, it'll come back.
  • Old_Davy · 1 year ago
    I bought a copy of this album as a Christmas present for my Roomba.
  • DwDunphy · 1 year ago
    You sure this is a good idea? Suddenly in the middle of the night, the robotic soul of Freddie Casio wafts across the room as Roomba slides into the bed with the suction on high.
  • Old_Davy · 1 year ago
    Nah, that only happens when I play Soft Cell.
  • EightE1 · 1 year ago
    I'm curious what "everyone's favorite recipe" is for. Puddin'? Hash brownies? Or maybe it's that "Recipe" like the Baldwin sisters used to make on The Waltons, the stuff that used to make Grandpa howl at the moon up on ol' Waltons Mountain. Betcha Freddie Jackson would enjoy some of THAT recipe. Mmm yeah. Might even give Keith Sweat a call on his cell, and maybe they both dial Millie Jackson's digits, and the next thing you know, New Edition's in Mama's kitchen, slurpin' down big ol' glasses of everyone's favorite recipe, reminiscing about how good Heartbreak was, and maybe it's time they do another reunion tour, and before they can plan out the itinerary (over more glasses of everyone's favorite recipe), Bobby Brown quits the group again and Bell, Biv, and DeVoe decide they don't need Bobby or the other two anymore, and, over enormous jelly jars of everyone's favorite recipe, they decide that nobody liked their Hootie Mack album because nobody really HEARD their Hootie Mack album, and maybe it was time for a deluxe, double-disc reissue of their Hootie Mack album, and then Millie Jackson comes out to refill her pitcher of everyone's favorite recipe, and she accidentally recreates her Back to the Shit album cover, all over Mama's floor, and then the party breaks up, but not before Mama sends everybody off with a milk jug of everyone's favorite recipe, and somebody (maybe it's DeVoe) breaks into "Be Your Santa Claus," and they all leave Mama's kitchen, itchin' to get freaky on Christmas Eve, cuz they all got protection, now they want affection, and they're all lubed up on everyone's favorite recipe, and it's time for a little loviny-doviny, a little more glory to be thrown to the newborn king, a little more Recipe to swig down, and if they just happen to run into Bobby Brown, he's in for a big ol' Christmas ass-whuppin'.

    God, I miss the Waltons.

    Rob
    EightE1
  • DwDunphy · 1 year ago
    Wow. And here I thought Christmas was about sitting uncomfortably in relatives' livings rooms just waiting for someone to blurt out something about Sara's abortion.
  • jefito · 1 year ago
    This is exactly the sort of thing we hope to inspire each Mellowmas. Thanks, Rob -- you make it all worthwhile.
  • RLB · 1 year ago
    Day 11 also features a PBS special slobbering all over David Foster. Why must I watch??? blech